Citizens of the Internet,
We’ve recently herd rumors of an invasion. Not of a single state or human enemy, but a terribull new foe. No hay, these rumors include hoofed, spotted, and sometimes hairy creatures. Reason enough to beef up security.
Many of you have have expressed deja-moo. Some have asked if the steaks have been raised.. To this we say: The cream rises to the top. You must cowfindantly click your cachecow pasture your level to further greatness. The truth of the matter is we’ve made an udderly amazing discovery. There is no invasion. And, more specifically, there are HUNDREDS of cachecow levels. Anyone who claims otherwise is full of bull and simply making a terribull missed steak.
That said, while the idea of some sort of “cowpocalypse now” (as one terrified gamer has taken to calling this) is udderly ridiculous, it is worth noting that one can never be too careful.
And so, after consulting with our local cowncil, we have elected a new knight, Sir Loin. Effective immediately, Sir Loin encourages all residents of Earth to steer clear of the wilds and click your cachecow for mooyah. This activity cud be potentially admirabull to your social herd and, in the opinion of this humble civil servant, is a veally good idea in general.
In the meantime, we urge you all to click, its moosic to our ears. And remember, cows don’t click people, people click cows.